One year ago today….I
stepped out in faith!
And walked on water!
It was exactly one year ago today that I left my former job
and stepped out in faith to open my own practice. I have been filled with emotion and tears the
past few weeks as I knew the month of August would be emotional for me. My first born is leaving to start his sophomore
year at ETSU as a premed student, my youngest started her junior year at
Renaissance high last week (a second chance to find her way and thrive in
school), I miscarried twins at 12 weeks 16 years ago that would have been due
this month (yes, if you do the math…I would have had 4 children 4 and under), I
have my first ever speaking gig at a conference in Denver this week….all during
the same month I am celebrating my 1 year anniversary of opening Integrative
Family Medicine! No wonder my adrenals
are screaming at me!!
The past year has reminded me of the sermon my pastor Pete
Wilson preached earlier this year on “Water
Walkers”. Matthew 14:25-32 is the
story of the 12 disciples in the boat who were afraid when they witnessed Jesus
walking on the water toward them. There were 12 in the boat, but only Peter had
the courage to GET OUT OF THE BOAT. He
walked on water toward Jesus, but began sinking as he took his eyes off of
Jesus…once again he was rescued and safely got back in the boat. For the first time in my life I sat quietly for
nearly a year without making a move. I
prayed, I sat, I waited on God to give me a sign if I was to leave the security
of my job and open my own practice. And
in July 2014 I heard it as clear as day while at the beach alone; “It’s time,
go now”. I have spent my entire life in
warp speed and never taking the time to listen or obey. This time I did both and even though it has
been a wild ride and not without bumps in the road, adversity and fear on my
part, I have stayed the course and kept my eyes on HIM the past year….
Needless to say my last year has been a whirlwind of chaos
(not organized most of the time), blessings beyond belief, uncertainty as I
pray every day that patients will actually show up and pay to see me, gratitude
that THEY DO and that I can pay my bills and student loans every month! Here’s a little refresher of the last year in
the life of me and Integrative Family Medicine……
August 11, 2014 I
gave my notice at work…August 11, 2014 UHOHHHHH…no notice needed! I was free to
leave that day. That afternoon after I left my job of the past 4 ½ years for
the last time I posted on Inside Out that I would no longer be working at my
old position and would be opening my own practice …and low and behold….the
phones started ringing and the voicemail filled up in a matter of less than an
hour. Jackson was at the gym working out
(and had the new cell phones with him) and called me asking what to tell
people. I was speechless, I had no idea if anyone would really call, if anyone
would really want to come see me in private practice. I was loaded with insecurity, determination
and scrappiness! That night as the phones rang, and it was just me and Jackson
at the house I remember telling him “this is a night we will never forget
son. This is the beginning of something
amazing. Let’s don’t mess it up”!
August 12, 2014
command central was set up at my house with some of the most incredible friends
ever who dug in and did whatever was needed to get my practice set up. Jackson took charge of the phones and worked
18 hours a day as the scheduler! He had patients texting him at all hours of
the night to set up appointments and I couldn’t have set up practice in 3 WEEKS
had it not been for that kid! Ella
jumped in and helped haul supplies, office furniture and any work that needed
to be done! It truly is a FAMILY
practice that got the foundation laid with the best family of all…my kiddos!
The next 3 weeks
were a blur of building out the new office, finding mix and match furniture, Jackson
hanging shelves, pictures, putting together desks, painting, ordering supplies,
setting up my supplement vendors, finding a lab company to work with, being
wined and dined by various reps, getting computers bought (we had no internet for
the first 6 weeks and borrowed from the neighbor), the electronic medical
records crashing one night and us losing ALL appointments that Jackson had
worked so hard on making, me breaking down and crying more than once that day
and afterwards, food brought to the house and office from friends and patients
cheering us on! The list of tasks needed
to do was done in 3 weeks times was overwhelming…but it never occurred to me
that we couldn’t get it done! All the
while you all were cheering us on through the Inside Out Healing From Within
Facebook updates! Showing up willing to work, clean, paint, make appointments
or whatever needed to be done.
We got that office up and running by the first week of
September and dang if a few weeks into it, Tammy called me late one night in
tears telling me that Blue Cross was going to make me use a different
supervising physician. I scrambled to find a new one and then they said “nope,
you now have to credential all over again the time limit has past and you can’t
bill for one patient you have seen. They
cost me 40,000 in claims since I had not billed anyone with BC/BS. I was calmer
than Tammy and quietly decided that there was no way I was fighting that. I would take the loss (I hadn’t even been
open 2 months yet) and move on. And pray
my patients stayed with me.
Thank YOU to every one of you that has been a part of
something short of a miracle the past year.
I can’t name names because there are too many to mention, but you know
who you are. You have supported me,
loved on me, lifted me up when I was doubting, fed me and the kids, drank wine
with me and simply stopped in the office just to say hello! I love you all more
than you will ever know and am eternally grateful and humbled daily that you
show up!! I promise to keep showing up…if you will! I’m by no means the
smartest NP out there, but I love my patients like family and will walk this
journey with you as long as you want me to!
My kids have seen me divorce 13 years ago, receive Food
Stamps and be on a Medical Card for 5 years while going back to school in KY
and then starting Vandy for 3 years, seen me cry as I left Vandy with 200,000
in student loans and no way to pay the minimum payments, seen me scratch my
head the first 2 years in practice wondering what in the heck I was doing…and
have now been an integral part of their
mom deciding at 48 to take one more chance and GET OUT OF THE BOAT….I hope they
remember this past year as the year we were WATER WALKERS together all the while
giving God the glory for anointing me to do what I do and giving me the courage
to STEP OUT IN FAITH and walk on water!
Hoping for 20 more years in practice…actually, I am hoping
Jackson changes his mind and decides his true calling is endocrinology and NOT
orthopedic surgery!! J
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